Sterling and Fam

Sterling Soul Jackson

Born January 5th, 9:48 a.m., 21 "

8 lbs 1 oz

Halloween

This year we were:

Poison Ivy

Ladybug

Sumo Wrestler

Noelle seemed entranced by all the Halloween activity. We kept asking if she was tired, but all she would say is "More". In fact, she preferred that term to "Trick or Treat".

There were so many kids out since much of Weatherford comes to the historic district. The houses are in a friendly competition to see who can have the spookiest house. We saw a man flying back and forth in a spider web, a live scarecrow who came down from his hay bale against an old oak tree to grab at screeching goblins and witches.

The neighborhood really had this wonderful Halloween ambience -- old homes lit up orange and purple and green in the dark night. Yet against this foreboding background were open doors, lit with warm lights and smiles as people we knew and others we had never met took a moment to say hello and offer a treat.

The Wilderness

Many spiritual leaders have spoken of going into the wilderness for greater awareness of reality. Many people today seek this same experience to bring forth their true selves.

I believe for women, and for the very involved men as well, the wilderness is being a parent to a small child.

The innocence that is a child is such a gift, untouched by culture and expectations, they show us the reality of who we are, before we are molded and shaped to this life. And in showing us this, they free us from our self constructed prisons. The truth shall set you free, they say. I see truth every day I look in Noelle's eyes.

And there is nothing more motivating to vanquish the parts of ourselves that are small and judgemental than protecting that innocence.

The leaders talk of the demons that visit them each day in the wilderness. I am faced with them each day as well as I watch the fears, shame, or guilt that I took to be a normal part of being human pass through me to my daughter. They are brought to my awareness in those moments, and I have a choice then, to accept them and then change them, or to ignore them. My dearest hope is that I choose the former more often than the latter.

No, for me, the spiritual pathway does not lie somewhere in the far off woods.

I walk the path daily as a mother trying to be all that my little girl deserves, and, as I am learning, I deserve.

A Moment

You run toward me

Draped in color

Swirling round

Your bare skin

The breeze blows

Delicately moving

your curls

and the silk

over you.

Blue crystals shine

in your eyes

As you smile

A smile I have seen a hundred times

And yet, it is always new

Sometimes in these moments
I can only think

one thought

Life is so magical

And I hold my breath

So that I may hold onto

the seconds

Time slows

But then I must exhale

And with my breath

The moment fades

Reminding me

That in every second

Life must leave behind the past

And move forward.

Welcome, Fall!

Just a little bit of Fallsy goodness since we are all so happy it is here...

My little Elton in her sweater and glasses. Kids are so snuggly in sweaters and pants.

Some little pumpkins I am working on to make a pumpkin patch. My hope is eventually all my Fall decorations will be handmade. A handmade home...something to aspire to!

No pictures, but over here we have made pumpkin bread and pumpkin soup. I'm hoping to add some more pumpkiney goodness to that list!

I have begun searching for Christmas carol music since the holiday season is around the corner.

Yup, the most wonderful time of the year has come back and brought with it inspiration and energy!

Summer Recap

Summer has come and gone and Fall, like an old friend, has faithfully returned. And like an old friend, we easily fall into routine with him again. Cooking, walking, lighting candles, good music all have returned to us as if they had never been gone.

Looking back on the summer, it was difficult in many ways for us because of the heat, but it was also so extraordinary. Stephen and I got to watch our first baby grow into a child, into a person, a person we are both just so enchanted with. I have often felt

"What do I have to offer this little person who is already so many of the things I wish my children to grow to be? "

All I can do is be here.

And so that is what I do.

I am here to witness all her moments of doing and saying new things.

.
I am here to laugh with her when something is funny.

I am here to laugh at her when she is playing the clown.

I am here to share her wonder at something beautiful.

I am here to hold her when she is hurt.

I am here to be her steeping stool when she wants to reach for the stars.

I am here to be who I am so she can see what it is like to be an adult in this world.

And amazingly, being here has been enough. Letting go of the expectation that I have to do, to teach, to mold or lead in some overt way has opened up a relationship with Noelle that I am grateful for every day I wake up and every night I go to bed.

I have heard the phrase "Children should come with instruction manuals."

I think they do. It is them.