Reflections

Sometimes it feels I am standing in front of the great pool of Love that is our source of creation.

Infinite light, infinite Knowing, infinite Love, infinite Beauty…

… and I see Reflections upon the surface.  It is my family, and my life, yes…

...but so much more beautiful than I could, in my mind,  have dreamt it to be. 

It is my life flowing from that pool.  It is Love revealing itself to me.  

May Queen

Spring is almost gone now.  The dreamy pastels have given way to lush greens.  Our yard is an alcove of shadows underneath all the new foliage. 

But, I must post these pictures of our little May Queen as a final farewell to the first blossoms of the season.  

Spring

In honor of Spring's renewing energy, I hope to start writing again on this blog. There are too many beautiful things that will be lost to time if I don't write them down.

Right now we have the most amazing Spring. We had a very wet winter, rare in Texas, and it has gifted us one of the most beautiful wildflower seasons I can remember. There are flowers in our backyard I wasn't even aware were sleeping under our soil. There are overflowing patches of clover everywhere, some with yellow flowers, some with blue, some with white. There are wild primroses and hyacinths, and henbit and dandelion. Yesterday we lay for hours in our yard, spread out on the soft green clover, watching ladybugs crawl their their grass forest.

Spring is a time of renewal and rebirth. The egg is a symbol of this rebirth. And of course we are reminded of this by the preparations I see all the animals making for their new little ones that are coming. I feel a connection to them all, for I have my own new little one this spring, and we are showing him, after a long winter, all the beauty this Earth has to offer.

After the long gestation of winter, we are finally ready to hatch our wonderings and ponderings, our desires and wishes, and bring them into this physical world. And after much reflection indoors as we watched the still winter landscape, we are ready to step out in new ideas, stretch our wings, and fly.

Sterling and Fam

Sterling Soul Jackson

Born January 5th, 9:48 a.m., 21 "

8 lbs 1 oz

Halloween

This year we were:

Poison Ivy

Ladybug

Sumo Wrestler

Noelle seemed entranced by all the Halloween activity. We kept asking if she was tired, but all she would say is "More". In fact, she preferred that term to "Trick or Treat".

There were so many kids out since much of Weatherford comes to the historic district. The houses are in a friendly competition to see who can have the spookiest house. We saw a man flying back and forth in a spider web, a live scarecrow who came down from his hay bale against an old oak tree to grab at screeching goblins and witches.

The neighborhood really had this wonderful Halloween ambience -- old homes lit up orange and purple and green in the dark night. Yet against this foreboding background were open doors, lit with warm lights and smiles as people we knew and others we had never met took a moment to say hello and offer a treat.

The Wilderness

Many spiritual leaders have spoken of going into the wilderness for greater awareness of reality. Many people today seek this same experience to bring forth their true selves.

I believe for women, and for the very involved men as well, the wilderness is being a parent to a small child.

The innocence that is a child is such a gift, untouched by culture and expectations, they show us the reality of who we are, before we are molded and shaped to this life. And in showing us this, they free us from our self constructed prisons. The truth shall set you free, they say. I see truth every day I look in Noelle's eyes.

And there is nothing more motivating to vanquish the parts of ourselves that are small and judgemental than protecting that innocence.

The leaders talk of the demons that visit them each day in the wilderness. I am faced with them each day as well as I watch the fears, shame, or guilt that I took to be a normal part of being human pass through me to my daughter. They are brought to my awareness in those moments, and I have a choice then, to accept them and then change them, or to ignore them. My dearest hope is that I choose the former more often than the latter.

No, for me, the spiritual pathway does not lie somewhere in the far off woods.

I walk the path daily as a mother trying to be all that my little girl deserves, and, as I am learning, I deserve.