A Settling Down Place: Golden

It's the golden time
Sunflowers wave lazily

Chamisa's golden blanket

Covers the rusty sand
The sun is strong
It is hard to see
The gold shines so hot

Your coming begins in the deep hours of the morning
The Dark Still
I am in the twilight of sleep
But I know you are coming

The sensations thread through my dreams
Filling those hours with a quiet wondering
"Is it today? Will you come today?"

In the water I stay
Allowing my body to work
While the warmness bathes me
And the smell of lavender
Washes me in its dream

I leave the water, my body begins to rebel against the sensations
They are strong and undeniable
Like the heat outside beating down
I send my breath into them

Unrelenting, if I'd only known how close you were
It takes all of me
Each 60 seconds
Takes the whole of all my years lived and dreamed
Collapsed to this single moment
Where I meet you
And I give you
All of me

And then that's it, the sensation of you moving through me
My body moves on it's own
Each contraction now transmuted to
Respond to your moving
A symphony of its own
Each note ringing out
Writing you into existence

And then the burning as you find your way through
The heat, there are no sensations anymore
Do I see or hear? It is all one. There is just now. It's all that exists and I can't even sense it because I am it. You and I, we are all of it.

Then the release, you are no longer me. You are you. I can see you and feel you and hear you. It is a miracle. You have become and you have left me all at once.
The cord still pulses with the remembering of us. It slowly fades as you let go and find your way.

To see you, to look into you, the connection stabs into me with its depth. It's like I am falling into you.

all the nights of oneness, you with me without me really knowing you
the deep spilling red of the placenta laying separate from us, my gift to you for all that time,
the way my empty belly contracts into itself...it remembers you...