New Year

These years 
they always start gentle, meek, quiet...

But I've lived enough of them to know 
They are wolves in sheep's clothing 

It won't be long, before the white is gone 

And the green begins 
That what seemed tame, docile
Easy 
Will turn 

teeth bared 
Gutteral rumbling 
And I will first step lightly
Not understanding where this  
Demanding
Biting 
Beast 
Came from 

But then 
understanding comes
The fear runs cold 
survival runs hot
Legs run fast 
the heartbeat of survival 
Pounding ears 

And it will look like I might do it
Outrun the beast 
but then fatigue 
limbs to stone
I turn, hoping to see that sweet 
Beautiful 
Comforting 
Lamb

Instead
The snarling 
Crazed 
Famished 
Wolf 
stands poised
Tensed 
Ready

But now more understanding 
And the fear melts 
Into a warmth that spreads 
And the fatigue burns away 
In the fires of power

I am not going to run anymore

I could, I feel the hot in my muscles
But I'm not
And in the light of that strength
I see fear in those amber eyes 
And I finally 
Exhale 

And my shoulders heave
And the world heaves
And the wolf 
He is tired of running too 

There is only the sound of breath now 
Two breathing heaving beings 
I turn my back 
knowing him for what he is 
No gentle lamb 
a wolf through and through 

But now
He's my wolf 

I begin, the sound of rhythmic steps moving to breath 
Steaming hot white in the ice 
And I hear it sweet and strong
The sound of his following