Sunday, October 24, 2010

I’m Back

It has been awhile. I have missed writing here about my family. I think I finally have the words to articulate what is important to me about this blog.

It is a nice thought that one day my children might have a place to look to see the most shining parts of their childhood, but, I’ll be honest, this is of little importance to me. The truth is, I hope my children’s futures are so full of joy and life and learning and love that they really don’t have a whole lot of time to look back. There is so much to look forward to.


No, the real value of this little place I have carved out of space and time for myself is in this moment, as I am writing these words. Because as I watch the black letters roll onto this screen, I am finding and strengthening the best things about our lives together. I am activating and appreciating the beauty that this life is offering me, right now, right in this place, right with these people. And as these feelings well up inside me, moving from my heart to my eyes, and down my cheeks as tears of wonder at all that has been given me, I am becoming more of the person I want to be, the mother I want to be, the wife I want to be, the daughter I want to be, the sister I want to be, the neighbor, the friend, the Good I want to be.


So let me just take this moment to say simply:

I have two beautiful, buoyant, vital, sweet, loving, clever, joyful children. I never imagined I would have the honor of being present to witness the growing of such amazing beings. I think so highly of them that at times I am nervous about having a third child because I just figure at some point it has to end. But then I remember I know better, there is no end to love. And that’s what these children are. Pure, flowing, unending love


And my husband. How do you put words to having found the person who you are sure was made to be your partner in this life? Step for step we match each other, creating the life we want to live, loving our children and each other, and seeing in each other’s eyes the vast depth of who we all are. Our relationship transcends everything I read about marriages or relationships because it doesn’t feel like work to me. It only feels like home. There is a Knowing in me that found a voice only days after Stephen and I came together, and that Knowing is that there is nothing and no one that feels more Right than him.


For these things I am humbly grateful.

And for the chance to experience the fullness of these things here in my writing.