I have been organizing my pictures lately.
This is always such a heartwarming process for me. I find that often when I think back to my family’s beginnings I think about the things I did not know and did not do, not really with any blame or guilt, but just an acknowledgement that it was not easy at the beginning. Each beginning with each child had its unique challenges.
Noelle at 1 week
Sterling at 2 weeks
And then I look at the pictures. I see the way Noelle looked at me with such wonder and love in her eyes. And I realize she wasn’t really paying attention to all those inadequacies. She was content to have a mama who loved her.
I remember the overwhelming busy-ness of our lives with Sterling in his pre-crawling days. And then I look at all the pictures of his beautiful smile and realize he didn’t care. He was enraptured with it all.
The pictures in my life serve as a reminder to myself that I can choose to focus my attention, just as my children did, just as my camera does.
It is true that it is very easy to capture good pictures in beautiful scenery. But beauty can be captured anywhere. Move a little clutter here, clear some space there, open the window, take just the right angle….
Just as the photographer trains himself to see light and shadows, lines and angles, color and symmetry, I want to train my internal lens to focus on love, joy, tenderness, and playfulness.
Just as the photographer’s eye becomes skilled at seeing beauty, I want to train my spirit to See Grace.
And perhaps, one day, I won’t even need those pictures as reminder of how beautiful my life is
And always was.