I was thinking on my life, on the turns it has taken.
On the way it looked only 5 years ago and the way it looks now.
On the way God works in mysterious and miraculous ways.
And how once the mists of mystery burn away, the delight that comes when we See where we have been brought.
5 years ago I was in medical school. A dream to bring hope and light to faraway places I had been told had too little of that.
My life consisted of black and white text
the sterile whiteness of laboratories and hospitals,
much collaboration and little connection
I lived in the realm of the Mind.
The Heart beat softly and patiently in the shadows
When I was a young girl in school
I would write poetry to the tune of chalk on black board
Come home and run fingers over ivory, the breath of harmony filling me
I would stand in front of audiences with friends, laugh and speak in strange timbres as we played life on stage
And then I decided that was all child’s play and I put it away in its proper drawers and I went on to more adult things
Until one day, a soul came to me, asking me to help pave a way for her into this world
Asking me to show her what is beautiful
Asking me to show her what is important
Asking me to show her what is Right and Good
And I looked around at all the black words and white walls
And it flashed dull
I heard the faintest beating of a long forgotten friend
And this was the beginning of my Breaking
And now, I find myself surrounded by gardens and flowers and trees budding Spring
And I see how these little flowers so fragile
can only bend so much
And I think of myself
Because although I do like to think myself strong
The truth is my spirit is like these flowers
Growing underneath the shade of Strong Oak
Their perfume lost
If sniffed too hard
I offer my thanks to those who will do those big things in the world, travel to far off places to Make Right
But this is not how I was made
I was made for poetry and music and dancing
I was made Mother to share it
I was made delicately and carefully
Fantastically and Uniquely
and I will Honor my Creator by Honoring
I will walk among these gardens
And give thanks for the strong trunks
And the whisper of petals