Wednesday, December 31, 2008


Something has been on my mind in the last 24 hours, so I thought I'd share. It never ceases to amaze me how much I have changed since Noelle was born. How many things that I thought I could never sacrifice seem to float easily into the background, and then fade away and one day I remember that thing that used to seem so important. And all of them are things that I knew I needed to change, knew somewhere in that place that I often try not to listen to because it is too inconvenient, that place that tells you this isn't working, that place that knows what inner peace is and how to get there. The interesting thing is, as easily as I can bury that place, go on living at a frenzied and disconnected pace, it seems that children can't. It seems they are born knowing what is right, knowing what peace feels like, and will fight strongly to maintain it. When they start to feel their little world whirling too quickly, there is something steadfast in them that pulls back. And I find that what Noelle's needs for happiness are are actually not that different from mine. I have found how blessed my life has become since allowing Noelle to teach me. I laugh sometimes when I think about how I used to believe I would mold this little person, passing on to her all my great wisdom I had gathered in my life, laugh at how the greatest wisdom has passed the other way.
I teach her what a cat is, she teaches me how to slow down and be in the moment.
I show her a tree, she shows me how important rest is, yes, even in the middle of the day.
I show her what love is, and well, she shows me what love is.
At least we are on equal ground on some things.
I guess I am finding what it means to really listen to her, listen to my baby,
my teacher,
Listen when peace calls.

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