"I know now why they say
The eyes are the window to the soul.
I look in yours and see the whole universe
And all its galaxies
I stare deeply, intensely
Do you hear that music?
It is your heart
Singing to my soul.
In harmony we rise and fall
In an ocean
of Love and Peace
Until a Mother
Who can no longer
Contain her words
'I love you.' "
--- Written to Noelle at 4 months old
I have had the luxury and pleasure of taking up the piano again. A lost friend, it has been a wonderful reunion.
And as I have begun the journey of making music once again, this time as a mother and woman, I have been able to learn something I didn't quite see before.
Music is, in its essence, an art of nuances.
You learn a song, its notes and its rhythms. You practice day after day until your hands and mind have learned it fully and completely.
And then you practice more, because there are still subtle movements your fingers haven't learned that you don't even realize exist.
Then, all of a sudden, you find your mind and your body no longer require your energy, and in that moment, you are fully present in the music, able to feel exactly how soft, how fast, how delicate to make this moment.
This is is when the piano sings.
This is when you make music.
And as this moment comes to me, and moves me so powerfully, I realize too, that is is how the rest of my life works. As I become more skilled at living, my mind and body are able to move out of the way so that I can be fully present and able to respond creatively to just this moment in time,
not based on rules or laws I have learned,
not based on past experiences,
but just based on my soul coming into this moment to express itself.
I see glimpses of this as a parent with Noelle. Glimpses when I am fully here with her, just loving her, rejoicing in the fact she is here and is who she is.
And when I do that, my heart sings.
Then together, Noelle and I make our own music